Then April hit. Its been a tough month spiritually. I have struggled to be consistent in the word, although I did memorize all of Psalm 1 this month. I've felt like the word has been harder to understand this month, I felt like Christ has departed, and temptation seems much more attractive than it has in previous months.
I was sharing this with someone this week and he dropped a line to me that I had never though of before. This is what he said. "Those moments when God seems so far are just as Holy and God ordained as the ones when God seems so close."
Psalm 13 says:
How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.
It seems that David has felt exactly what I have been experiencing. Praise God for being so close at the time when he feels so far. Thank you for your promise that you will NEVER leave me or forsake me. Although you see far at times, I know in my heart that you are not far at all. That is your promise to me. (Matthew 28, Joshua 1:9, and many more) One thing I ask and one thing that I seek, is that I could dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life....how awesome would that be. One day it will come. However, for now, cherish the moments when God feels close and trust that he is close when he feels far.
Christ's closeness is not based on our feelings and experiences; but instead on his promise.