Happy Valentines Day. Well Kinda.....
Beth and I agree that Valentines day is overrated. Like many other holidays in America; it is a time for marketing and debt. It is another reason to spend money that we don't have and buy things that we don't need. Let me give you all a little wisdom from my short 26 years of life experience. "If Valentines Day is a time for you to focus on loving your spouse or significant other more deeply; than your missing it." In my house we try and do Valentines year round. We shouldn't dedicate 1 day per year to the love of our life.
Let me give some practical advise for all of you and some of the things that I have implemented in our house.
1. Do a date night every week. This does not have to be extravagant. It can be a date out or in the house. Pick a night that the two of you sit down with no kids and have dinner together, maybe a little drink (Some Red Wine or a Sam Adams winter ale would be my suggestions) Have some dessert planned and maybe a movie or a game. Beth and I like a romantic comedy or Uno. It is so important to set aside some of your time to spend with your boo. All week long you run around doing stuff and it is so easy to forget the love of your life. Make this night the same night of the week every week. NEVER schedule anything on your date night. Sanctify that time and never let things get in the way. Every Wednesday we have a babysitter (Usually my father-in-law) come over to watch the kids while Beth and I get dinner and get some coffee. Then we'll come home and watch LOST together.
2. If your married; Make Love Often...Very Often: Fellas, Love Making is more than just a time to "get off." It is also a time to know your lover in ways that nobody else can or is allowed. "Drink and eat your fill O lovers"; "Enjoy the wife of your youth"; these just some of the references to good love making in scripture. Sex in marriage is for many reasons. It is a way to serve your spouse, protect your spouse, control your spouse, encourage your spouse, pleasure your spouse. Most importantly it keeps Satan from creeping into your bedroom (1 Cor 7). This should be no surprise to anyone but Beth and I try to enjoy one another as often as we can. It builds trust, brings unity and grows our desire and passion for each other.
3. Serve your spouse or significant. Your life goal is to serve your spouse or significant other. We are all prone to wanting to be served because we are selfish by nature and are always looking out for #1. True love is putting yourself last and others before you. This is so important in relationships. I try so hard to do this with Beth. This does not have to be with huge things; they are the small things. Every night I get up with the babies. For the past 2 years I cannot remember one time that Beth had to get up with one of the kids. She has them for the first year while they breastfeed; I get the the rest of their life. That's just how we role in our house. I put the kids to bed, clean the dishes, and help out in every way possible. The fulfillment I have in serving Beth is greater than being served by Beth. It's almost like Jesus was right; "its better to serve than be served." MEN.....Do your best to serve without expecting something in return. WOMEN....If your man serves you; its always nice to get something in return. (I'm just sayin)
4. Talk to each other. Very few couples do this and it sounds so basic. We need to talk talk talk and talk some more. Beth and I talk all of the time throughout the day. If we don't talk often throughout the day its either because we talked about something and it turned into a fight or we haven't talked so now we have to fight about why we didn't talk. People at work get on me all of the time about this. They see me on the phone with Beth; e-mailing with Beth, Texting with Beth, etc. It is important that we do this with each other. Communication within relationships protects and grows the relationship.
5. Build Trust. Trust is not something that is just there; it is something that is consistently either growing or declining. It very rarely stays stagnant. I want Beth to trust me more than I trust myself. To do this, I hide nothing. Beth has full access to everything I do. She can see everything on my calendar; she can see every e-mail that has been sent or received; she can see my phone at any time and review anything that she wishes. She knows every password and sees every dollar that I spend. This is so important. It works as a trust builder and built in accountability from any way that Satan will try to attack you. MEN....You all should do this!
So there you go, that's my Valentines Day wisdom. Hope you enjoyed.