Hysterical Volunteer Email (Netcast)

One of the best emails I have ever received from a Netcast volunteer. Hysterical....

___________________

Hello Matt,

Reading your discussion on the budgetary aspects of Netcast has left me feeling very happy and excited about this future fiscal year!

I have decided that it is more than appropriate for me to start a discussion with you about the payment and compensation for my (much valued) time working with and for the Netcast church. I have worked out the rough amount of time I have spent teching shows, loading equipment, and providing expert and professional feedback for multiple sound, video, and technological related issues throughout the last year and a half.

Normally my freelance charge for such services is $325/hr with a 4 hour minimum, however since I have a personal interest in the establishment and you guys are probably a non profit establishment I have decided to cut that down to only $200/hr with a 2hr minimum for my expertise and services. As a result the total amount due, with back pay and taxes, equals $74,695.62. You may pay me in any currency or format you deem worthy, I personally prefer diamonds or works of art from the Mezzo-European era. You may, of course, discuss the payment offers with your board. If you find there may some issues with delivering payment, I would be willing and open to discussion regarding making reparations for the debt via services or goods exchanged.

For example; I would accept cured boar-hides as an alternative, they must value the worth of $74,695.62 however. I understand that due to the economic difficulties that are currently ravishing the country you may not have ready access to cured boar hides, so, as another alternative, I offer the following:

You allow my wife and I to have you and Beth over to our Apartment for dinner sometime in the next few weeks. Both my wife and I feel that having you and your wife visit our humbled abode would more than equal the dollar amount owed, and the pleasure of us making dinner for you would indeed clear the large and imposing debt Netcast has to me.

 Please feel free to take some time to think on this issue, discuss the situation with the esteemed and much lauded group of individuals you mentioned in your budget post, and let me know at your earliest convenience. I look forward to hearing your response.

Sincerely,
Kevin