In the last year of marriage, Beth and I have learned more about marriage than we did in the first 8. Church planting has its ways of pressing a marriage on every side and exposing things in you that you never thought were there. Between the ridiculous hours, the pressures of success, the incredible relational demands, 4 kids and the exposing of our idols, by God's grace, Beth and I are building an incredible oneness. We have had unique opportunities to be counseled by some incredibly Godly people and also offer counseling to pre-maritals and some struggling relationships. Here is some that we have learned.
Marriage is be one of the most difficult challenges in a persons life. Beth and I have experienced some major challenges along the way in our relationship. Something that we learned is that marriage is a sacred covenant that joins two people together in one flesh (Matthew 19:5). It is not easy because it's very difficult for two sinners to live in peaceful harmony (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). If Beth and I aren't pursuing Jesus together, the inherent struggles of living under two different authorities quickly become apparent.
Often Christians in this situation will look for a way out of the marriage. At times we can even convince ourselves that this is the only way to truly be happy and even bring honor to God. You may be thinking "God wants me leave; or God wants me to be happy; or God would never want me to feel this way." His Word, however, says nothing like that. It is very important not only to be content in our marriage, (unless of extreme circumstances such physical sexual unfaithfulness or abuse) but also to look for ways to bring glory to Jesus out of our challenging circumstances (1 Corinthians 7:17). Unless you look to Jesus to be your source of satisfaction, you'll never experience the true joy of marriage. The problem with this is we too often look to our spouse to be our source of satisfaction and joy when they are a sinner by nature. And for some reason, even though you knew that when you said "I do"; you're surprised when you feel the effects of being married to a sinner.
My encouragement is that you would pray for the power of the Holy Spirit to enable you both humble yourself in submission to Christ (Ephesians 5:21) and live in the light of God's presence (1 John 1:7). Seek God's transforming power to change your hearts and produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
A Christian wife is obligated to have a submissive heart, even toward a man that is not perfect or even unbelieving (1 Peter 3:1), and you will need to remain close to God and rely on His grace to enable you to do so. A Christian husband is called to love his wife well, by taking his eyes off of his own desires and seek to love Jesus by serving his wife. I would argue that you, like Beth and I, struggle to do this. My encouragement to you is that you would stop looking at marriage as a covenant to bring YOU happiness and joy but rather as a covenant to serve each other and honor Jesus. In that, we will find our greatest Joy. I promise, because God promises.
Lastly, we are not meant to walk through marriage alone; we need to find support from outside sources like our church, Godly marriage counselors, Godly books on marriage, Godly teachings on marriage online, and and other Christians in our lives. Being in a struggling marriage does not alter the sacredness of the relationship, so it should be your priority to pray, asking Christ's light to shine brightly (Philippians 2:14).
Don't give up on your marriage. Fight for your marriage, Fight for each other and fight to honor Jesus. I am convinced that the strong will fight for this but the weak will roll over and quit. Be Strong!! Joshua 1:9 says "Be Strong and Courageous…God is with you."
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Tazer Gun…best story I have ever read!!!
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
- My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
- The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
- My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
- My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
- I had no control over the drooling.
- Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
- I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
Good to Great Marriage
Well it has been along time since I have written something on here. God has been doing some great work in the life of me personally and our Family. Beth and I have decided to take a giant intentional step in our marriage and refocus our attention on Jesus. We have been married for almost 5 years and to be honest, haven't kept him first. Compared to the world most would agree that Beth and I already have a very good marriage. But this is the key....."Good is the enemy of Great." Why settle for a good marriage when God intends for us to have a great marriage?
It amazes me that as married people, we just expect to have a great godly marriage. We really just expect this to somehow happen. We not only expect it, but we expect it will happen even if we never work at it, study on it, or ask God to help us. Actually, here is an interesting fact....it takes more work and study to get a drivers license than it does to get a marriage license. And we wonder why over 50% of marriages in and out of the church end in divorce.
Here are some things that have helped Beth and I over the last month, as we started to pursue the "Chewning's Great Marriage Model"
1. Two 10 second kisses everyday.....soooooo important
2. Pray together...both people pray. Everyday.
3. Have an agreement to be honest with each other without hurting each other’s feelings.
4. Attack problems and not each other. (Learn how to argue)
5. Study Ephesians 5; 1 Peter 3; 1 Corinthians 7
6. Understand and learn what it really means to Men: Lay down your life for your wife, love her unconditionally, and lead your wife. Women: Follow your husband, obey and submit to your husband, and respect your husband.
7. Commit to work on it.
Here is something that God also has revealed to me. Until I feel like I have a good understanding of how to have a Great Christian marriage and how to fulfill my role as a husband, he will not release me to fulltime ministry. God's view on marriage and infinitely more important than we think. If as Christians we cannot get this down, we do not deserve to lead his church. 1 Timothy 3.
It amazes me that as married people, we just expect to have a great godly marriage. We really just expect this to somehow happen. We not only expect it, but we expect it will happen even if we never work at it, study on it, or ask God to help us. Actually, here is an interesting fact....it takes more work and study to get a drivers license than it does to get a marriage license. And we wonder why over 50% of marriages in and out of the church end in divorce.
Here are some things that have helped Beth and I over the last month, as we started to pursue the "Chewning's Great Marriage Model"
1. Two 10 second kisses everyday.....soooooo important
2. Pray together...both people pray. Everyday.
3. Have an agreement to be honest with each other without hurting each other’s feelings.
4. Attack problems and not each other. (Learn how to argue)
5. Study Ephesians 5; 1 Peter 3; 1 Corinthians 7
6. Understand and learn what it really means to Men: Lay down your life for your wife, love her unconditionally, and lead your wife. Women: Follow your husband, obey and submit to your husband, and respect your husband.
7. Commit to work on it.
Here is something that God also has revealed to me. Until I feel like I have a good understanding of how to have a Great Christian marriage and how to fulfill my role as a husband, he will not release me to fulltime ministry. God's view on marriage and infinitely more important than we think. If as Christians we cannot get this down, we do not deserve to lead his church. 1 Timothy 3.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)