Sex: I'm Gay & I Love Jesus (Day 6; Post #7)

This post comes from a very brave and Godly young man at Netcast. I commend him for his incredible honesty and faithfulness to the Lord. 

All I Need is You, Lord”...Really? 

I grew up in a Christian home with loving parents. I went to church every Sunday and attended a Christian school. Like all the other boys, I enjoyed sports, Legos, and long days in the backyard with my friends pretending we were police detectives who could travel into outer space. I even had crushes on the pretty girls in my class and in my neighborhood, but was always too shy to admit it!

Adolescence hit around the 6th grade and that’s when the sexual feelings started. Although, oddly enough, my focus was not on the pretty girls, but rather on the handsome boys. It didn’t really bother me at first. I had just discovered my body’s newfound, um, abilities, and I was curious if any of the other boys had found them as well. “It’s just a normal thing. Every boy is curious,” I tried to convince myself. To confuse matters, it wasn’t until 8th grade that my parents told me about the “birds and the bees”. Well, they didn’t actually tell me. Mom left a book on my pillow and hoped for the best.

Apparently this issue was just too difficult or embarrassing for them. Of course, by that time, I had most of the facts of life figured out already. As I entered high school (A good Christian high school, of course), I finally began to become a little concerned that maybe I was gay. My interests still hadn’t changed. It was still the boys I thought about when I was in bed at night. “Maybe I’m just a late developer,” I thought. “If I pray hard enough, God will make me interested in girls. Then I will be normal.”

I met a great girl and we became best friends. She really liked me. We had similar interests and a similar sense of humor. She had been raised in a “good Christian home” like I was. I loved being with her. We had so many inside jokes together that when I saw her down the hall, I’d just start cracking up. We would have made a great couple if I had had the slightest interest in a romantic relationship with her. I kept checking myself... Nope. Nothing. Dang.

High school came and went and it was off to college. Christian college, of course. Now, I’ve heard tons of college stories where the guys in the residence halls enjoy being naked for no good reason. I was disappointed when I found out that my floor was nothing like that. Even the showers were very private with double curtains! So my homoerotic curiosity continued unsatisfied. I’m embarrassed to say that I would occasionally try to sneak peeks at my roommate when he returned from the shower just to see what a naked man looked like. (These were the days before internet porn was there to satisfy every curiosity in its own destructive way. But that’s somebody else’s blog post!) 

Now, at this point, I need to rewind my story a little bit. Ever since I was a young child, I have been painfully shy. My father loved me, but was emotionally distant and didn’t do put much effort into raising a son with confidence. We didn’t do much together. And the older I got, the more difficult it became to interact confidently with people. The teasing in middle school (that everybody goes through) really did a number on me.

When adolescence hit, I started getting depressed because I wasn’t getting any attention at school. I felt completely invisible. When high school came, I started internalizing it so much that I started feeling worthless. When college came, I knew “for a fact” that I was worthless. Especially with my struggle with homosexuality on top of everything else. I lived in a world of self-pity. But the people in college were not like the people in high school. They were kind. They were friendly. And for the first time in my life, I made true friends. It was, without a doubt, the most excited I had ever been about anything in my life. I had friends! Maybe I was worth something! That feeling didn’t last long.

All my newfound hope crashed down when I had to withdraw from school to take a mental break. I was now out of my friends’ everyday world and they were out of mine. I tried to visit the campus and reconnect, but they were getting to know new people and seemed very, very busy. In my mind, they didn’t want me around anymore. To make matters worse, I had just gotten fired from my job. And that’s when I hit rock bottom. It’s hard to know what rock bottom looks like until you get there yourself. It’s a place of absolute hopelessness where you despise every minute of your existence during the day--and the night is even harder because there is nothing to distract you from your thoughts of despair, loneliness, and self-loathing. It was all-out, full-fledged depression and I really didn’t have anybody to talk to about it. Even my prayers to God seemed to bounce off the walls. But “rock bottom” was also when my relationship with God changed. I was a lonely, sick, broken young man and I was desperate for hope.

Up until now, my faith was just “going through the motions” of what I had learned from my mother. But now, it was becoming real. In a very small way, I knew that He was listening. It was time to get serious with Him because I needed Him so badly. One weekend, to my surprise, one of my former floormates gave me a call and wanted to fix me up on a group date with a friend of his girlfriend. “I have to try it,” I thought. “Maybe there will be something there.” I went on the date. There was nothing there. Nothing but awkward. College came and went and it was off to pursue a career. Now reality was setting in. I was gay. There was no denying it. Every single one of my sexual fantasies was about the male form.

The pain that this realization caused was excruciating. First there was the pain of being different. Then there was the pain of being in a people group that society generally looked down upon. And finally, there was a crisis of faith. After all, I was supposedly this fine Christian young man. I can’t be gay. “Homosexuality is forbidden in the Bible!,” I thought. I will never forget the night I “came out” to my friends. It was absolutely the scariest night of my life. I got the college boys back together for a little reunion and we went to one of our favorite outdoor hangout spots--a cool seashore spot covered with huge boulders that the waves crash into. Hanging out on a huge rock overlooking the ocean, I finally told them, without actually saying the words, that I was gay. To my surprise, I was met with nothing but love and acceptance. Telling people got easier after that. Many years later, I was even able to tell my parents. But living with this “condition” didn’t get easier. It was time to fix things.

I went online and checked out Exodus International and Harvest U.S.A. and got myself checked into a local support group. I got involved in a church and had godly men in my life. I read the books that were published at the time, all explaining how I can be freed from homosexuality and fall in love with a woman and get married and live happily ever after. I did all the right things, but nothing happened. I was still a homosexual. Nothing I could do--and no amount of prayers--was changing that. But God had begun His work on my heart--calling me to draw close to Him. To trust Him in my circumstances. To allow Him to be a companion when I was lonely.

It was a very slow road to fully accepting His reality and his care for me. He did begin to answer my prayers for companionship, and through some odd circumstances when I was in my mid 20’s brought me to an amazing church where I became part of a family. God used these people to give me a sense of belonging. I quickly got involved in various ministries and a sense of purpose began to grow within me. I learned more about God’s love for me and got excited about joining God in the things he was doing on our planet. I learned to live outside myself and see what it was like to serve others instead of constantly being focused on my own needs and shortcomings. New life was rising out of the ashes of brokenness.

I did ministry in that church for twelve years. It wasn’t always without complication. In fact on a few separate occasions, I essentially “fell in love” with certain men in the church. These guys were my friends and we had bonded emotionally. And that led to physical desires as well. But each guy was straight, so nothing happened--except for the emotional torment of desiring somebody I knew I couldn’t have. This was just as painful, if not more so, than when I hit rock bottom during college. I ended up having to go on anti-depressants because my heart was so hungry for love (or what I thought was love) and so distraught that my desires could never be met. But even through those excruciating times... even through the times I was literally screaming mad at God for making me this way. He never let me go. I wanted to walk away. I wanted to give up. But I couldn’t. His love for me and His call on my life has been so unmistakable that I could never live without Him.

I still struggle with same-sex attraction today. I have made the choice to not enter into a gay relationship based on what I believe God’s will for me is through study of scripture. (Other gay Christians conclude their study differently.) But He is making me stronger and more confident in who HE is. Who I am is becoming less and less important. My story is becoming less and less important. I’d rather be a part of His story. And I’m learning from my married friends that a spouse doesn’t meet you in the deepest places of your soul’s longing. Only the pure love of Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit can do that. The love that was displayed for all to see when he stretched out his hands and died for us. The love that made a way for us to be with Him in perfection forever. The love that washes us clean of everything we’ve done wrong. It’s an amazing love. It’s an undeniable love--not always with our emotions--but with a deep-seeded satisfaction that it’s the truth.

I will probably never get married. I will probably never have sex. I will probably never have a romantic kiss. I will probably never hold somebody’s hand. Isn’t that sad? NO! Because there is greater freedom in walking with my heavenly Father and following his best plan for my life. Instead of putting my hope and trust in the love of another person, I’ve had to put my hope and trust in Him and Him alone. In the Father, I’ve found a nurturing dad who wants me to grow up big and strong. A dad who has big plans for his son, who is priceless, not worthless! In the Son, Jesus Christ, I’ve found a friend who never leaves me, even when I come home to an empty house. A confidant who knows what it’s like to face struggle, loneliness, and temptation. And a partner and guide on an adventure to change the world! In the Spirit, I’ve found an indwelt intimacy that surpasses the love of any man or woman. He is continually inside of me representing the abolition of my worst fears and lies about myself. When I turn to Him, my spirit unites with His, and His power becomes my own. I am empowered to view this life not as a series of difficult struggles and circumstances, but as a specific plan that was drawn up by the Father. 

If you have same-sex attractions, being alone for the rest of your life might seem an impossible, heartbreaking outlook. But with the nurture of a caring Father, the example of the Son, and the spiritual intimacy of the Holy Spirit, anyone in my situation can go forward into tomorrow knowing that your life has a purpose, a plan, and the support you need to make it a rewarding journey. At some point you need to accept the fact that your story doesn’t look like everybody else’s. But that doesn’t make it less valuable. Sure, you might occasionally feel very alone, but remember that your alone-ness was His call to make, not yours. Because the truth is that you’re not alone. Surrender your life to Him and realize that He is all you need. Trust Him to bring people into your life who will encourage you and keep your focus Him and not yourself. There is so much freedom to be found when we can shift our energy from what we want to what He wants.

Scripture that has encouraged and strengthened me in my journey: 

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19 

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Psalm 61:1-4 

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?… No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35, 37-39 

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

SEX: 25 Years of Intimacy & Thoughts from a Single Mom

This is a wife at Netcast who shares her observations from 25 years of physical intimacy...

Our first years of physical intimacy were illicit. We weren’t married yet. We were trying to be “technical virgins,” doing sexual acts right up to, but not including penetration. It almost worked, if it weren’t for the few times we couldn’t reign in the passion and took it farther than we intended. It was glorious in the moment, but shame and worry followed.

Our first years of marriage were challenging. Suddenly without the aphrodisiac of the forbidden and dangerous, I struggled to become aroused. Sex without arousal was sometimes painful and often nauseating, but I knew it was important not to deny my husband, so we settled into a couple times a week of ho-hum going through the motions. It was slightly better for him than it was for me, but nowhere near the pleasurable intimacy I knew it should have been.

I believed that this was what our married sex would look like forever; that it was the price I was going to have to pay for my pre-marital sins. Because it wasn’t all that pleasurable for me, I was also non-orgasmic. This really saddened and discouraged us both. We read books and tried different “remedies,” but part of me just continued believing that I didn’t deserve to have an orgasm because we weren’t virgins when we married.

Fast forward 15 or so years, and now we have fireworks. F.I.R.E.W.O.R.K.S. Mindblowing fireworks. And did I mention fireworks? 

It’s been that way for us for so long now that it feels like we’ve always had good sex. So what made the difference for us? It came softly, slowly, quietly. I don’t understand it completely, but here is what I’m sure of: Most importantly: grace. I needed to understand God’s grace. He doesn’t give me what I deserve. I don’t deserve fulfilling sexual intimacy with my husband. I also don’t deserve eternal salvation. Or good health. Or my next breath, even. But God loves me so much in my brokenness that He sent His Son to be my Rescuer. And, in His passionate love, He showers me with good gifts.

I Corinthians 6:9-11 “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Praise Jesus! I am not defined by my past sins. I am clothed in His righteousness. Once I was set free by a deeper understanding of grace, I think several practical factors played a role: 

• Recognizing that seeing my husband breathlessly ravished by my love is a gift I give him. I’m the only one who holds the key. I love giving him that gift, knowing that I’m honoring God while I do it, and that I’m drawing my husband’s heart to mine as he knows he can count on me to leave him deliriously satisfied. 

• Realizing that when I’m an active participant in our lovemaking by adding my own motions to his, or lovingly directing him in how he can increase my pleasure (which actually took me a while to figure out myself), or initiating sex altogether, that it not only increases his pleasure, but mine as well. I’ve discovered that when I might not be all that aroused in the beginning, engaging myself in the moment by doing some or all of those things usually leads to being highly aroused. 

• Grasping the mechanics of sex. It’s almost humorous now how inhibited and uninformed I was in those early years. I was amazed when I learned that clitoral stimulation is most women’s pathway to orgasm. 

• Embracing more than one type of sex. I think a lot of women have a problem with giving or receiving oral sex because they don’t think nice girls do it, or they think it’s gross. Godly girls know that it is a God-given gateway to orgasmic pleasure, especially for the wife, and that a sensual bath or shower together right before sex can be helpful to make you feel more comfortable with it, although it may take many tries at being vulnerable in this way before it becomes pleasurable. It took me probably 10 years, but I’m so thankful I never wrote it off completely. 

• Understanding that my mind is my most important sex organ. If I’m worrying if I remembered to take the beef out of the freezer for dinner tomorrow, or if I smell ok, or if he noticed that I forgot to shave, I’m shutting down my ability to relax and engage, and cheating us both. 

• Accepting that although times like menstruation or fluctuating pregnancy hormones might inhibit typical sex, this is a great time to demonstrate selfless love to my husband by offering to pleasure him in an alternative way, no strings attached. Just because I don’t need or want a release doesn’t mean he doesn’t. My body is not my own. 

Our culture thinks that monogamy leads to boring sex, but our life demonstrates just the opposite. God in His wisdom saves sex for the marriage bed because the best sex is a by-product of deep spiritually, emotionally, and relationally intimate couples. It takes time to get there. No matter where you are in your journey as a couple, please know that there’s hope that God can redeem beauty from ashes. Never give up. Never stop growing. Marriage thrives when each partner is seeking Christlikeness. It’s a beautiful parallel that the more satisfying sex is, the more I long for more. So it is with the Christian walk. The more we delight ourselves in our Savior, the more we long to know Him better. He gives us good gifts.

This is the story of a single mother at Netcast Church... 

Growing up in church, sex wasn't often talked about, and when it was, it was strange and horribly uncomfortable. At youth group, we were taught that we should remain virgins until we married, but why? I don't recall ever being told why, but instead was left with an impression that sex was the sin above all sins. As a teen, I made a decision and a vow to God to wait until I was married to have sex. I failed. I had sex, and became a mom at 21 years old. I believed a lie, as so many other young women believe, that if I gave my body to a man, I would receive love in return.

For a while, sex and relationships became a god in my life. I looked for fulfillment in these things and ran from the one who could truly satisfy my soul. There was a deep feeling of shame. I felt as if I could never go back to Jesus again. Thankfully, after some time, I went home. Jesus showed that although I sinned sexually, I wasn't hopeless. He showed me His word, His truth. Scriptures like Hosea 2: 14-17, John 4 and John 8: 1-11. 

I am single now. I hope to one day have a husband, to enjoy sex as God intended, but for now, I will wait. It is a daily choice that is not always easy, but is made possible by His grace. So, the question remains, why? For me, it's not because the bible says so, but because it is just one way I can express my love to my Savior. I no longer feel a need to give myself to a man, because I have Jesus who gave Himself for all of us. I wait because it is my act of worship to a God who loves me with a most precious and everlasting love. 

Having Fun through Theology, Intimacy and Sex (Day 3)

The story of 30 years of loving Jesus while having fun and enjoying the pleasures of marital intimacy by an anonymous couple at Netcast.

Having Fun through Theology, Intimacy, and Sex 

Being intimate for us encompasses much more than a physical act with each other. It is us not being afraid to reveal and share ourselves with each other. In the Garden, when God created man and woman, they experienced a level of intimacy with each other that caused Adam to sing with joy as he finally felt complete in a way he had never felt before.  

"Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2:23 ESV) 

Before the Fall, they enjoyed such intimacy with each other and with God, that they had nothing to hide from Him or from each other emotionally. Before the Fall, they were unaware that they were naked and they had nothing to hide physically. And then quickly, with both of them complicit, it all changed.  

"Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" And he said, "I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself." (Genesis 3:7-10 ESV) 

In one terrible act, their intimacy with God was lost. And, perhaps, their intimacy with each other was damaged for ever as they began to blame each other and their circumstances for their shortcomings.  

"The man said, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate." Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this that you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." (Genesis 3:12, 13 ESV) 

It's interesting that their first action, as a couple with lost intimacy with God and with each other, was to hide their sexual organs.  

"Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they ... made themselves loincloths." (Genesis 3:7 ESV) 

It was clear that things weren't going to be much fun after that: there is lots of toil, sweating, and pain that is described as a consequence of the lost intimacy with God. In the garden after the fall and as a result of sin, ALL things became work and toil, sex included. What was once effortless and always perfect, now intentionally needs to be maintained. As a result of sin and lost intimacy with God, even sexual relations with the partner that God created for you can be flawed, can be work and require effort to maintain. ALL of creation, formerly perfect, was damaged by the fall. But for us, marriage and sex has been one of our most cherished gifts this side of heaven.

What began in college with a "flirt", was quickly followed by a first date, friendship, romance and ultimately marriage. It's totally crazy, but we knew after four months of dating that we wanted to get married; highly bizarre even to us. In anticipation, we started buying married people "stuff" like dishes, pots & pans and the like and hid them away. After what we thought would be an acceptable time to our parents, we asked their permission to marry. All were excited, everything was cool.  

Fast forward three years to the wedding... 

No joke, we had to wait THREE YEARS for one of us to finish college so they didn't have to pay their parents back for the education. That was the deal: if married or dropped out of school before the diploma was in hand, it was payback time. These parents were serious and really weren't kidding! The wedding was phenomenal, over the top, and what many people only dream of. All we cared about though was the wedding night. Waiting for sex was a long haul and we almost didn't make it. We were the LAST ones to leave our wedding reception because it was so fun to talk and spend time with friends. Finally at the hotel, life was good. A lingering first bath together in anticipation of much more to come that evening, well really, it was early morning by then. Little did we know "more" would come, but in the form of siblings and their spouses bearing champagne, and sitting all over the our bed! Not kidding, how ever did they find us , let alone get in? (story for another time though)!

Anyway, between the bath and the sibling arrival was the culmination of three years of waiting for sex. Two virgins, madly in love, naked and not ashamed! It really was amazing to become one physically for the first time, after developing intimacy in other ways for three long years. Neither of us had prior experience or other sexual relationships intruding on our first night of sexual intimacy. It wasn't that it was long and drawn out, but tender, slow, romantic and ALL about the needs of the other. It was a "perfect" first time.

Amazingly enough though, the real beauty wasn't really that night but in the months, years and decades that followed. We can now look back and know that we guarded and protected a very special gift that has and always will belong only to us, given and honored by God. For us, now married couple for more than 30 years, having fun with each other begins with being transparent and unashamed with each other, and with a desire to return to the garden in true intimacy. It requires being intentional about emotional and physical intimacy with our partner and best friend. We were made as physical and sexual beings to enjoy each other, and if there is something between us (like clothes), then we can't (fully) enjoy each other. But it also means we can't have emotional stuff between us, and that means being honest about ourselves, each other and what we like. It also means that we look for things we enjoy doing together, because once we have emotional intimacy then the physical intimacy is so much better.

Three years of developing emotional intimacy led to an amazing physical intimacy. But now, sometimes it's reversed. As we enjoy physical games together, we laugh, create memories and develop deeper emotional intimacy. Memories like naked hide-and-seek, with all the lights out. While the hiding and the seeking are fun, the finding was even better. Memories like strip pool - you miss a shot and off comes a piece of clothing. Memories like "Lose a bet, become my sex slave". (This last requires some explanation - sex slave doesn't mean degradation and domination. It means your partner is totally committed to doing what makes you feel good. You make me feel good, and I GUARANTEE you will feel good). Memories like a dice game: roll a six, and kiss something round. Roll a seven, and I rub your back. Roll a twelve, and you pick the body part I have to massage. Roll a three and tell me the happiest memory from the last year. (Making our own rules for both physical or emotional intimacy for each number is still part of the fun.). Memories like having sex in every room in the house, and then remembering which room was best.

Part of restoration back to the garden, through the blood of Christ, is that we can live life without guilt. Nothing is off limit for us when it comes to sex, because we love and respect each other. God created us to enjoy each other, He doesn't tell us what we can and cannot do for our enjoyment, except to say we have become one. We enjoy giving kisses to all parts of our bodies. We enjoy giving and receiving oral sex. We enjoy tickling each other with feathers when one of us can't move. We enjoy trying different positions in different locations: inside, outside, in the garage during the middle of the afternoon. But sometimes an experiment doesn't work. It's not pleasurable, one of us feels uncomfortable, it's not the garden experience of intimacy. So - we laugh, we stop, we say "That was really not fun." - and we don't do it again!

When we were married, two became one. We love each other as we love ourselves, and over 30 plus years, we enjoy our oneness without guilt on how we do that sexually. Some ways we build intimacy are physical, some are emotional but all are aimed at making us more "one". That's particularly true when we intentionally make plans together. We then get to enjoy the physical aspects of intimacy three times: during the planning, during the doing, and during the remembering. After 30 plus years of marriage all three are great!

Married Sex: Is it OK for us to _______? (Post #3; Day 2)

There was a recent comment that we need to address on the topic of sex. We hope that the other posts will also address this, but for now here are our thoughts. 

Anonymous said... 

I appreciate the candid blog.. BUT! That I was hoping to actually hear a bit more on how this is played out in the bedroom. Not graphic details.. but I think one thing that is lacking in our Christian Communities is more people talking about Sex and the different ways to experience it. We as Christians feel somewhat guilty if we provide Oral Sex to our husband for instance. Why? Is this wrong? Is everything accepted in the bedroom. Are their things you can do that will draw you closer to each other than apart? If so, please do tell us.. anyone? Anyone?

Matt Chewning said...

In reference to the question above, here are my thoughts..... The Bible says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4). Scripture never says what a husband and wife are or are not allowed to do sexually. Husbands and wives are instructed, “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time (1 Corinthians 7:5a). This verse perhaps lays down the principle for sexual relations in marriage. So, whatever is done, it should be mutually agreed upon. No one should be encouraged or coerced to do something he or she is uncomfortable with or thinks is wrong.

If a husband and wife both agree that they don't mind an would like to try it, (e.g., oral sex, different positions, sex toys, dirty talking, role playing, etc.), then the Bible does not give any reason why they cannot.

However, 2 things I would warn against are..... 

1. Adultery is sin even if your spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it. Therefore, any sexual act is for the married couple ONLY!

2. Pornography appeals to the “lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes” (1 John 2:16) and is therefore condemned by God as well. A husband and wife should never bring pornography into their sexual union.

Beyond that, there is nothing that Scripture explicitly forbids a husband and wife to do with each other as long as it is by mutual consent. Now, if there are selfish motives or degrading activity that leads to sin or one party being hurt or uncomfortable, that's different. Beyond that, feel free to get your freak on in any which way your two little hearts desire. Feel no guilt or shame in doing it and as long as it is mutually enjoyable have as much fun as you like. There is no part of your body or your spouses body that God says should be off limits as long as nobody feels abused, degraded or has a check in their conscience. Actually, there is great holiness to be found in fully giving yourself to your spouse.

I would encourage every married couple to experiment as much as they desire, with their spouse, in achieving the maximum about of pleasure you can by the grace of God in your marital union.

Have fun!!

For even more thoughts on this, check out this post. "What's OK and What's NOT"

15 Hopes for the women at Netcast Church

This past weekend we talked about what it looks like to pursue biblical woman. At the end of the message I listed my 15 hopes for the women at Netcast. Those, as well as a quote inspired by the writings of Pastor John Piper is below.


“True womanhood is a distinctive calling of God to display the glory of his Son in ways that would not be displayed if there was no womanhood.” There are certain ways that man cannot display God's glory. When God described the work of his Son as the sacrifice of a husband for his bride, he was telling us why he made us male and female. He made us this way so this relationship would describe more fully the relationship of his son and his son’s blood-brought bride. If you reduce woman to biological features you not only reduce the value of womanhood but reduce the glory given to God in his beautiful creation. Whether a woman is married or single. Do not waste your God-Given womanhood, for it was made by and made for the glory of Christ.”

15 Hopes that I have for the women at Netcast. 

1. That all of your life, you'll be devoted to finding hope and beauty in Jesus.

2. That you won't stop modeling gentleness & compassion to us hard-hearted men at Netcast.

3. That you be women of the bible and not blame your church or a man for your lack of discipline.

4. That Jesus and the meditation on biblical truth be the source of your hope and faith; not a man.

5. That you fight to be heard at Netcast and in the community. Never letting fear quite your voice.

6. That you be women of prayer and faith; and grow in your influence at home and Netcast.

7. That you work to understand the deep mysteries of the gospel.

8. That you be totally committed to ministry within Netcast, whatever your role.

9. That you not waste God-given time on pointless TV shows, social media stalking or gossiping.

10. That, if you're married, you lovingly support the servant leadership of your husband and help him to die to himself as the Lord has called him to.

11. That you encourage, not belittle your husband when he is wrong and you are right.

12. That you develop a fearless war mentality when it comes to worshiping your King Jesus.

13. That you fight for transparency and authenticity, yet be honorable and respectful to others.

14. That you mentor and raise up the younger women at Netcast so they might love Jesus well.

15. That your motivation for the discipleship of others not be your own perfection, but rather your humility. Because young women need to know that imperfect women are loved by a perfect God.

Ministry & Marriage: A Love Letter to Beth.

Church Planting can be an extremely painful experience on a wife and family. Because of that, Christine Hoover has written an incredible book called "The Church Planting Wife" as a way of encouraging wives through the journey of planting a church. I highly recommend this book to those who are in ministry or looking to plant churches. 

In addition, Christine has encouraged us husbands to write a love letter to our brides, reminding them how vital they are to our lives and ministries. Below is my letter to my best friend, partner in crime and the love of my life.

Dear Bugsy,

Growing up in a broken home where truelove and sacrificial love within marriage was never modeled, I could never have imagined experiencing the joy that the Lord has given me through our relationship. Now obviously, our relationship has not been a cakewalk. We have endeavored many ups and downs, wins and losses, trials and victories; but in the end, if the Lord's main purpose for us is to glorify Himself by sanctifying us, then it is easy for me to think, "Oh, how great and awesome is our God."

Since the moment I saw you in college I knew my life would be changed forever. I can remember it like it's yesterday, watching you walk into the cafeteria. The first thing I noticed was your big beautiful eyes. I love your eyes. The only thing left to do in that moment was figure out how to get you to be mine. Little did we know that within weeks, the Lord would save me and then providentially bring us together.

Through 2 1/2 years of dating and going on 10 years of marriage, none has been as strenuous and trying on our relationship than setting out to plant Netcast in 2011. Sure all of the church planting books and friends in the ministry would tell us how difficult it would be, but I don't think we believed it. However, looking back it has been definitely the most difficult thing we've ever endured together. That said, similar to the cross, Jesus never wastes our difficult moments. This process of church planting has been by far the most sanctifying thing we have ever experienced.

Over the last two years I have watched with my own eyes, Jesus transform you from a young Christian into an incredibly godly young woman. This transformation has not been easy for us and quite frankly there has been moments of great pain; But seeing Christ in you has become one of my most cherished possessions. I love watching you spend time with other women and pouring your life into them. I love to see you growing in your ability to be transparent and vulnerable even when it's extremely uncomfortable. I love how you're able to point people to Jesus and not simply tend to their emotional needs. There is an incredible joy that comes over me as you share all the things that Jesus is doing in your heart.

Beth, you are truly my best friend. God has used you in my life to grow me in ways that I could never thank you enough. Because of our relationship and because of your commitment to the Lord, today I am more of a man of God. You have been my lover, my helper, my conscience in weak moments, a safe haven for my thoughts, my rock when everything else seems to be falling apart and even my shepherd at times. I love you more than words can describe. I love the grace that you extended me and the God who lives in your heart. I love the mother you have become and the father you are helping me to be.

I love you, I love you, I love you. Today, tomorrow and for all of eternity.

- Matt

Generosity starts with correct thinking.

Sadly, statistics would tell us there is no difference between the way a Christian views generosity and the way the secular world views generosity. As believers in Christ, we believe that we serve a generous God who has given us a generous gospel. In the gospel, our Lord Jesus Christ emptied himself of all his riches and walked among us, becoming like us in every way. Then on the cross, our great God gave himself for us by becoming our sin offering and extending his righteousness to all who would believe in Him. Jesus is a generous God!

Romans 12:2 says “Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind...” 

In this text, it is clear that the key that worship begins with accurate thinking, not necessarily accurate actions. In other words, the ability to worship Jesus through generosity has less to do with what we do with our resources, and everything to do with how we think of our resources.

In 1 Chronicles 29:1-14 we learn that “Everything under heaven and earth belongs to the Lord” and by Gods grace, we have been entrusted with the responsibility of managing some of the Lords resources. A faithful manager, manages assets for the owners benefit and carries no sense of entitlement to the assets that he manages. But rather, it is his or her job to find out what the owner wants done with his assets and then carry out his will.

Biblical generosity starts with being able to grab a hold of the beauty of Jesus Christ. Jesus is so incredible, so powerful and so beautiful that our only response to Him should be...“Everything under heaven and earth is your.” By “thinking” in this way, we will become incredible worshipers of God and generosity will flow out of us like never before. Generosity will become a response of seeing how incredible Jesus is and how massive his mission is in comparison to our mission. And generosity no longer becomes a duty, but can now be a reflective reaction of understanding who we are in light of who He is.

If everyday of every week believers would see how great Jesus is, how powerful Jesus is, how glorious Jesus is, how victorious Jesus is, how majestic Jesus is; then who knows how God may use a church like that. "Yours, O Lord is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours." Therefore, may we be faithful managers of His stuff. And may we worship Him well.

6 Leadership Lessons I have learned in Church Planting

I was recently asked to share some of the leadership lessons that I have learned in my 14 months as the church planter of Netcast Church. I thought I would share them with you guys.

1. Authority is easy to give away and very hard to take back. Take your time giving away authority to others because once you give it away, it could cause major disunity and problems if you have to take it back.

2. Building teams are vital. Most leaders neglect the importance of team building. Without other strong teams within an organization, the organization will never thrive.

3. Allow other leaders to lead. We want Netcast to be a place where God sends leaders to lead and not leaders to always be led. For the health and benefit of Netcast, it is important that I free people to lead out in their gifts. If there are people who are more gifted than I am in certain areas, than I have to encourage and free them to lead out in their giftedness.

4. Competence, Character, and Chemistry. For me as a leader, it is vital that the people on my team, have these three characteristics. I learned this from a leadership book I read about 5 years ago and it is so true. You can never allow someone with great abilities but little character to be a part of the leadership of a church. In the same way, if someone has great character but can't keep a commitment, than they are unqualified to lead. Lastly, if they have great character and are competent individuals, but lack chemistry with the other people within the organization, than we cannot allow that type of dis-unity. In order for a person to be a leader at Netcast, they have to have personal character, they must be competent and they myst have chemistry with other people in the organization.

5. Encourage diversity in giftedness. Anytime you have all of the same type of people on a team, than you will struggle to get better. Without diversity, you will rarely be able to see an organization with a critical eye. It is important that you have enough diversity among a team that we are continually getting different perspectives on any given issue. The only thing that you need to be careful about with this type of approach, is keeping unity. When people come to the table with different perspectives, it is vital that they all do so with great humility and honor towards others.

6. Wins go out, losses stay in. At Netcast, whenever we get a "win" (encouraging email, someone becomes a christian, etc…) we make sure that we spread that news throughout the entire church. Those are great ways for us to encourage the church. However, when we see a "loss" (discouraging email, harsh critic, etc…) we make sure that stays within the leadership of the church and we deal with it there. This is vital to keeping positive momentum within an organization.

Genuine Forgiveness and Reconciliation with each other.

I have received many emails in the past month that deal with relating to each other after we have been hurt by one another. I want to explain our stance on this topic because in the past it has been abused to force people to try and relate to others in ways that seem Godly but are not actually genuine.

Bitterness is something that we have to continually deal with throughout the Christian life. Paul tells us in Romans 12:18 "that we aught to be Live in piece with each other as much as we are able." So, in other words, reconciliation with others is something that is necessary but there are times where relationships will never be what they once were. For example, if my wife had an affair on me with my best-friend, that man would never be my best friend again. However, as much as I am able to be reconciled to that person, I must pursue that for the glory of Jesus. The confusion with this probably has to do with our view on forgiveness. Often we view forgiveness as a feeling rather than a choice. Jesus models forgiveness for us as being a choice rather than a feeling. The gospel is Christ "choosing" to relate to others as if the offense of sin had not occurred. Relating to others as if they haven't offend us is not acting like we have fully forgotten the offensive. We will always remember when we have been sinned against, but we are called to relate to others in a way that shows we are pursing reconciliation as much as we are able.

One thought that has helped me in the past is remembering that after this life, there will be full reconciliation in heaven. Full reconciliation to God and each other. Until then we fight for as much reconciliation as possible here on earth and savor the day where full reconciliation will be granted to all of us as a gift. Oh, what a day that will be.

Taking the Kingdom by storm.

There is no question about it that the Kingdom of God has been under attack from the day it began. Nations have tried to outlaw it, churches have misrepresented it, science has tried to disprove it and persecution has tried to scare it. Yet, the Kingdom of God continues to this day. In Matthew 11, Jesus says that the violent men and women are the ones who take the Kingdom and advance it. He doesn't say that the gentle in Spirit take it, he doesn't say the the smart people take it, he doesn't say the great debaters of our day will take it. He specifically says the "violent" take it by force. Then in a previous chapter, Jesus tells us that as we take the kingdom, to be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove. That is confusing because those are two opposite characteristics.

Nonetheless, we are called to be wise, innocent, violent and forceful as we live our lives as ferocious men who God has entrusted with the responsibility of advancing his Kingdom.

Love: The mark of maturity. (A Balanced MInistry)

When Beth and I started to plan and dream about Netcast, one of the things that continued to stick out was this idea of being a balanced ministry. Many ministries lean heavily in one particular way and un-intentionally neglect something in the mix.

For example:

• Balanced Philosophy: Missional Living vs Attractive Sunday Service.

At Netcast want to raise up people who don't just come to church on Sunday to be entertained but to leave on Sunday to be on mission. We think that in order to be a healthy church we need to have equal emphasis on living in community and on mission together as we have on putting together an awesome Sunday product.

• Balanced Approach: Making Converts vs Making Disciples.

At Netcast we don’t want to be solely about Evangelism and seeing people converted, but have equal emphasis on seeing believers grow into more knowledgable and committed disciples of Christ.

• Balanced Theology: Reformed vs Armenian

Although I am definitely bent towards reformed theology, we have some very faithful people in leadership positions who are bent Armenian. We find it most important that we believe both truths when it comes to these extremes. Yes, God is totally in control of everything in the universe and absolutely sovereign. And...Yes, God absolutely gives us free will to make our own decisions and holds us eternally responsible for those decisions. We agree that there are unknowns in how this works out but feel that having a balances view is most biblical.

• Balanced Doctrine: (Spiritual Gifts)

As Netcast pursues a balanced ministry, it is vital that we have balance in our views in the Spiritual gifts. Here are 4 of the most common views when it comes to the Spiritual Gifts.

Types of Positions:

1. Cessationism: This doctrine teaches that the certain miraculous gifts of the Spirit have ceased to exist after the foundation of the early church. So gifts such as tongues, prophecy and healing are no longer given to members of the Body of Christ.

2. Pentecostalism: This is a theology within Evangelicalism that puts a special emphasis on experiencing God the Holy Spirit through a baptism of the Holy Spirit which typically leads to the speaking in tongues.

3. Charismainiac: This is my definition of movements within Christianity that has no boundaries or biblical bias for the gifts of the Spirit. Just about anything goes. The Shake and Bake, The Tap and fall, The Bark, The hick-up, The Chicken Chirp, the meow and the isle runners.

4. Charismatic: Charismatic Christianity is a Christian Doctrine that maintains that modern-day believers experience miracles, prophecy, tongues, and other spiritual gifts described in the scriptures.

At Netcast, I would define us as Charismatic Christians with a Conservitive theology. As of 2006, Charismatic Christians numbered at least 500 million people, a quarter of the world's 2 billion Christians. This means that charismatics are the second largest branch of Christianity after the Catholic Church.

LOVE: The Mark of Maturity:

The corinthian church was measuring maturity by the gifts of the Spirit. And we also do this. We look at those who are Good Teachers, Generous, Strong Leader, have the gift of Tongues or Discernment or Serving; and we say.....They are mature. But the bible says that maturity is measured by your ability to love.

That is exactly what vs.1-3 is saying.

1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

The mark of maturity is the ability to love, to love the unlovely, the selfish, the distasteful, the ungrateful, and to not let that change your attitude or your actions toward them but to keep on working fully for their best interests.

[4] Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant [5] or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; [6] it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. [7] Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love is a choice not a feeling. As much as I love and adore my wife and as much as my wife loves me, we do not always have the warm and fuzzy's about each other. Love is choosing to react in a certain way. As the great writer Gary Chapman would say; "Love is a Verb."

• Patience is Love choosing to wait and not lording your timeframe on others.

• Kindness is Love choosing to react gently when it seems more natural to react harshly.

• Not having envy is Love choosing to be content with what God has given you and happy for what God has given others.

• Not boasting is Love choosing to be quite about ones self and avoiding the temptation to always tell people how great you are.

• Not being arrogant is Love choosing righteousness over being right. In my marriage, there are times where I have to choose to be wrong even though I am right for the sake of Love.

• Not insisting on your own way is Love choosing to be selfless.

• Not being irritable or resentful is Love choosing to forgive and relating to others as if they never committed an offensive against you, even though they have brought hardship or suffering or pain to your life.

That wasn't I was taught growing up.

Most of us were taught that Love is about compromise. You do for me and I do you for. Lets meet somewhere in the middle. But thats not what the scriptures teach us. The bible says that love is about death.

This is what Jesus says in John 13:9-13

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

The most tangible way that you can show love to someone is to literally choose to die to your own desires, your own wants, your own feelings, your emotions. To die to your self.

But, is it even possible to love like that?

Jesus is our example: Jesus lived a Spirit led and empowered life. Jesus emptied himself of certain attributes that he obtained while in all of his glory in heaven so that he, like us, would have to rely fully on the Holy Spirit. He was not superman, he was the God man who was led by the spirit. This is why Hebrews says that we have a high priest who can sympathize with us.

Philippians 2:5-7

5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 
7 "but made himself nothing", taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness.

In the same exact way that Jesus emptied himself and walked with a supernatural empowerment by the leading Holy Spirit, so are we to do the same. And one of the greatest things that the Holy Spirit leads us into is the ability to choose to love.

All of that being said, Non-christians cannot love in a selfless way. It is a fruit of the Spirit of God.

Galatians 5:22-26

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.

Your NAME in the place of LOVE

Matt is patient and kind; Matt does not envy or boast; Matt is not arrogant or rude. Matt does not insist on its own way; Matt is not irritable or resentful; Matt does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Matt bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Now ask those closest, how those statements resonate with them?

Here Paul drives the point home.

[11] When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

How do Children....

Speak: Children want things their way. They say things like. "No, Mine, Gimmie."

Think: Children think that the world revolves around them.

Reason: Children are never satisfied with what they have and rarely content.

Children love selfishly. Mature believers in Jesus, love selflessly. Because that's what Jesus did, and thats what the Holy Spirit empowers Jesus's people to do.

Valentines Day with Beth and Why I love her !!!

It is unusual for Beth and I to not do something big for Valentines Day. This year would be no different. Since this is our first year on a really tight budget we were able to get pretty creative with our night. To start we got all dresses up. When Beth came downstairs, I had our living room in a new design. We had a fire in the fireplace, with a table for 2 set up. rather than going out for dinner, I made some steaks with a potato and green beans. There was also bread with the meal. It was like eating out, only better because it was less than 1/2 the price and we didn't have to worry about other people being around. Then we set the couch up right in front of our new TV and watched Couples Retreat.

Here are some Pics.

Beth,

This is what I love about you. The way you stand by my side. How you always find a new way to "WOW" me. When I'm sad, you take the pain away with a joke or by calling me a Fag (I know, it’s a term of Endearment). How you always look deep into my eyes. How you can make my heart melt with your big soft lips. The way you hold my hand so tight. How you always watch out for me. They way you make sure I have everything I need. How you always know what to say. How you say the cutest things over and over and never gets old.

I love the way you stare at me as if I am the most handsome guy in the world! The smile you give after I'm done kissing you The way you act like a dork but make me laugh. The way your still embarrassed to say or do things in front of me. How you can just defend me and not be scared. How you lift your hands during worship. They way you walk when you get sad!! For how you think every cough, fall, bump, cut, scratch, short nail, bug bite, choke, or scream may lead to a fatality of you or one of the kids. The way you sing to be all cheesy even though you have a great voice. How you always finish my sentences. How it is so easy to see evidences of Gods grace in you. How your the only one who thinks I’m NOT weird (sometimes). How you teach our kids the bible.

Its funny but, I love the way we play stupid games w/ stupid incentives, and your stupid butt usually wins. How you tell me long stories that have no meaning, but you know I'll listen anyway, but if I don’t listen, you’ll still tell the story, and then ask me what you just said. How you always want to teach me about what God is showing you after a women's study or time with a friend. How your mind can be thinking of 100 things at 1 time. How you forgive me when I do wrong. How we like to match our PJ’s. How you can just speak your mind. How you’re not afraid to tell me your feelings. How you can cry in front of me. How you make me feel when I think I'm nothing. The way you inspire me with your thoughts and emotions!!!! How when you pray it is always from the heart and not a show.

And of course…….The way you encourage me with the Gospel to be every bit of a man, husband, and father that God wants me to be.

I love you more than I could ever explain. God has been so gracious to me.
Matty

Is it OK for a believer and unbeliever to get married in tough situtations?

I never thought I would have the balls to disagree with Mr. Don A Carson, but I am very against this statement (although he leaves 1 or 2 exceptions): The whole article is at http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2009/12/05/counsel-to-a-young-church-planter-on-marriage/

(2) The right thing to do, in both cases, is usually (I can think of one or two difficult exceptions!) to finalize the other part (get married). It is not to try to undo what has already been done! One cannot “undo” this sustained sexual, common-law, union. Thus to demand that a couple tear themselves apart after they’ve been living together for, say, five years, with perhaps a child or two, simply won’t do. What needs to be urged upon them is that they get “married” legally — i.e., publicly, according to the cultural standards of the state.

When God transforms the heart of an unbeliever into a new believer in Christ, many things come along with that. New desires, new motives, and literally a new heart. In essence, that person is clearly a new creation and if the bible is true, they will only slightly resemble the old self. That being said, he/she is not the same person who was in the previous relationship even if they had been together for 7 years unmarried with 2 kids. I humbly submit that it is the biblical responsibility for the for the believer to exit the relationship and seek a Godly husband or wife. In reality it is only fair for both parties because a christian wife will desire a husband who will lovingly lead her in the Gospel, Pray for her children, serve her and lover her as Christ would. We all would agree that an unbelieving wife does not have the grace to do that. The same is true for a believing husband, he will desire a Godly wife who will compliment him in his pursuit of Christ, not fight for leadership and glory in the relationship, and humbly submit to his Godly leadership and authority. Similar to the unbelieving husband, the unbelieving wife does not obtain the grace to do this as well.

In my mind this becomes a Gospel issue. Is it hard to leave a relationship of 7 years in which there was deep sexual commitments involved? Yes. Is it hard to leave the mother or father of your children who is not your spouse? Yes. Is it hard to start dating again in search of the Godly spouse that God may have for you? Yes. But, none of that is as difficult as leaving eternity in heaven to incarnate on earth and start over as a baby. None of that is as difficult as living in an evil world, being tempted in every way and having no sin. None of that is as difficult as being beaten as Jesus was and carrying your own cross to be crucified for the sins of man. None of those things are as difficult as although being without sin, becoming sin; so that cheaters, murders, idolaters, etc can become the righteousness of God by bearing His wrath for us.

In the Gospel we see the great example of making hard decisions for glorious outcomes. It is a trust issue. Do we trust Christ enough to make the extremely difficult decision? As Pastors, do we really trust Christ enough to counsel our people in hard ways, leading them to make decisions that in light of our world seem crazy.

Make the Gospel decision.

Judas the Betrayer

Read Luke 9

Have you ever wondered about Judas the betrayer? Recently I have. It is crazy when I think about all that he did while he was with Jesus. When you read Luke 9, you will see that Jesus sent him out to preach the good news about Him. He gave Judas power and authority to heal and cast out demons. Judas was sent to be a specific messenger about the Gospel of Christ. That is just crazy to me.

The other thing that is crazy is that Jesus, being fully God and all knowing, prayed to the Father all night when he was picking out the 12 disciples. In other words, he prayed all night to the Father about who to choose and went through great lengths to make sure that Judas was a part of his 12, while knowing full well that he would betray him and hand him over to be crucified for some silver.

How can this be? Jesus literally set himself up to be betrayed and killed.

This just shows the absolute glory of Christ. He was determined to save his people, regardless of the cost. Like the scripture says, he was willing to go through death, even death on a cross. Our God is great. Yet, while we were still sinners and rebelling against God, Christ willingly went to the cross to die so that we may live. That is an awesome testimony of the love, knowledge, sacrifice and glory of Christ.

Do you love him today? I do!

Spending March w/ Jesus 3-24-2009 "Jesus is the most powerful person in the room; watch what he does."

Jesus; the most powerful person in the room.

Read: John 13:1-17 and Matthew 26:17-30

I am a man of influence, whether I want to be or not, I am. God has gifted me with the ability to influence people all around me. My co-workers, my family, my friends, and even some of my leaders have been influenced by me in one way or another.

My father would tell you that most religious leaders in the world today are more interested in their power than their responsibility or calling. To be exact, my dad thinks that most religious leaders couldn’t make it in the real world, were picked on in High School, and the easiest way for them to have influence was to become a priest or pastor of some sort. This is his was of explaining away things like sexual abuse in the church, embezzlement, adultery, and all the other issues that we see happen when the wrong person gains to much power or influence in a religious setting.

Look at this passage. John 13:3-5.

Jesus knows his time is up. The Devil has already convinced Judas to betray Jesus and it's no secret. Jesus, God in the flesh, just has a moment with the Father and now knows the fullness of his power. This is what the scripture says: "Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him."

This is amazing to me. Jesus just realizes all of the power that the Father has given him and what does he do? He doesn’t exercise any of it. Instead he takes on the role of a servant and cleans the most disgusting part of the body: The Feet!

How would I react in that situation? When I recognize that I am the most powerful person in the room, what will my reaction be? Will I exercise my authority or serve those who God has given me? What will I do as a daddy as I realize the power I have; will I lord it over them or lovingly serve them? How about my wife? How about my small group? How about my church one day?

Lord, Help me follow your example and lead as you did; with a servants attitude and heart.

Spending March w/ Jesus 3-22-09 "Jesus gave me another little girl"

Jesus Gives Gifts

Read James 1:17

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Two years ago today, God gave me a wonderful gift. Ella Grace. She is our second little girl but has many things that make her unique to our family.

When I think of all of the Good things that God has given us; apart from salvation nothing comes close to the gift of my family. I not only have been GIVEN this gift but also have been ENTRUSTED with this gift. God has so richly blessed me with the responsibility of being a daddy to Ella Grace. It is a responsibility that I am excited to take on as well as scared to death to take on.

------------------------------------------

Ella,

You are my E-La, my youngest daughter, and are as sweet as a button. I love when you look at me with you huge adorable eyes. You just make me melt. I want you to know that I love you dearly. I promise to always be there for you as long as God allows me. I pray for you daily. I pray not just for your safety but most important for your salvation. When you were born, our pastor, Frank, came to the hospital and prayed over you. Being led by the Spirit of God, this is what he prayed. "That you would be a mouthpiece to your generation, a strong leader who will lead her generation." It brought tears to my eyes. I knew that it was God speaking.

Ella, live into your destiny. God has a bright and beautiful future for you. Please allow me to be the man in your life who approves of you, encourages you, and loves on you; until the day your mommy and I hand you over to your husband. Keep your purity and honor God with your body. I am pleading with you about that one.

Finally, forgive me. I will mess up a lot while raising you. I will abuse the responsibility that God has given me and sin against you. I am human and sinful just like the rest of the world. However, always know that I love you dearly and always will. You are my pumpkin.

Love, Daddy